


Strange Women Lying in Ponds (and other things they never taught you in school)

by Ithildin



Series: Echoes the Sea [67]
Category: Age of Ultron - Fandom, Highlander: The Series, Iron Man (Movies), King Arthur, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Immortal Merlin, Inspired by a Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-24 22:50:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithildin/pseuds/Ithildin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mjölnir, Excalibur, you name it -- Methos isn't touching any of them with a ten foot pole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Women Lying in Ponds (and other things they never taught you in school)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dipping my toe back in the writing waters after a long hiatus. Not long after posting the latest part of 'It's Been a Long, Long Time' in the spring, my best friend died. I haven't had the heart to write a word since. Tammy was not only a dear friend, but she was one of the reasons I write fic at all. Back in the 90s, we co-wrote, along with other friends, the Blood Ties series. We shared a love of LaCroix and Methos. Everywhere I've posted fic there are memories of Tammy; in comments, kudos, encouragement, and stories shared. Writing makes me miss her so much. She's not there anymore to read over what I've written or to brainstorm. So, this story, such as it is, is dedicated to Tammy, my Evil T. I think she would have liked it. 
> 
> I saw the teaser scene from Age of Ultron, and Methos started talking in my head about Merlin. I thought I'd give writing a try again. This is set during the scene in the teaser, where the Avengers are trying to lift Mjölnir—or as Darcy would call it, MuMu :) Title inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail. As always, thank you for reading.

The party had gone on for some time, empty glasses and bottles littering the surface of every table in the room. Over the din, Jarvis announced new arrivals to Tony's penthouse, high above the streets of Manhattan. 

Thor twirled the hammer, before setting it down with a thump, sitting next to Steve Rogers, while Clint Barton twitted the Asgardian over the legend of Mjölnir.

Standing as Charlotte and Methos joined the party, Thor gallantly waved Charlotte to the empty space on the sofa next to him. "Charlotte, it is a great pleasure to see you once more." He took her hand, bowing over it.

"And you, Thor," Charlotte responded with a brilliant smile, sitting down.

"That's enough of that," Methos said with a grin, taking her hand from Thor's, perching on the arm of the sofa . "And why is no one ever glad to see me, I ask you?"

"I don't know, Doc, maybe because you're, you know, you?" Tony replied with a wink.

"That must be it," was Methos' dry response.

"I didn't think you were going to make it," Tony said to the new arrivals.

"We're only here for a few minutes." Charlotte accepted the glass of wine Bruce handed her with a nod of thanks. "Our flight to Tokyo was delayed, so we decided to drop in."

"Not much of a drop from just downstairs," Natasha pointed out. 

"True, but with Charlotte's schedule the last few weeks, we've barely seen the inside," Methos said. "So what did we miss?" Taking a bottle of beer from Steve, he said, "At least there's some booze left." 

"Barton has issues with Mjölnir," Jim Rhodes explained, laughing. 

"It's a trick!" Clint protested, waving a hand at the mythical hammer, where it was resting on Tony's coffee table.

Thor laughed. "It is so much more than that, my friend."

Tony stood, unbuttoning his suit jacket, heading for Mjölnir. "If I lift it, do I get to rule Asgard?" he asked Thor. 

"Of course."

"I will be fair, but firmly cruel," Tony said grandly as he grasped the handle, pulling for all he was worth, to the amusement of the assembled company. "Be right back."

"Now what?" Maria Hill said to no one in particular.

"This is going to be good, trust me," Charlotte told the others. "Seriously good."

A few moments later, Tony reentered the room, wearing the Iron Man armor on his left arm. As he made another attempt to lift Mjölnir, Charlotte called out, "Never going to happen."

"What kind of bestie are you, anyway?" Tony demanded. 

She just rolled her eyes. Before long, Rhodey had joined Tony, wearing the War Machine armor on his right arm. "Are we even pulling?" he demanded. 

"Are you on my team?" Tony asked. 

"Just represent! Pull!" 

"All right!"

Thor and Steve laughed as Tony and Rhodey gave up. "Not worthy," they said in unison. 

"You got better?" Tony asked, pointing to Steve. "Let's see it."

"Come on, Cap!" Natasha shouted encouragement.

Steve stood, rubbing his hands together, taking the handle in a two handed grip. For a moment, it seemed as if Mjölnir moved just a fraction, but, in the end, he was unable to lift it. 

Tony refilled Charlotte's wine glass. "Your turn, Birdie." He shoved her shoulder lightly.

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "As if! Then I'd be forced to rule Asgard, and that would so cut into my 'me' time. No way!" 

"Chicken!" Tony said. Charlotte's response was to stick her tongue out at him. "Fine, you take a go, Doc." He pointed at Methos, who had been watching the various attempts to lift Mjölnir with amusement.

"Who, me? Absolutely not; nothing good ever comes from such endeavors, believe me." He waved a hand at Thor's hammer. "I told Arthur; leave the bloody sword in the bloody stone. But did he listen to me? No! And look where it got him." Methos sounded disgusted. 

Everyone fell silent, digesting Methos' words, before questions exploded from most of the gathering. Bruce Banner's voice rose above the din. "Wait a minute, are you trying to tell us you were... Merlin?" They all fixed their eyes on the oldest Immortal.

Methos quirked an eyebrow, a half smile on his lips. "Merlin was a prick," he said lazily, taking a long draw of his beer. 

Deadpan, Tony responded, "And….?"

Methos' retort was the finger. 

"I kinda rest my case," Tony said, smirking. 

Charlotte gave Methos a considering look, but held her peace. "On that note, we have a plane to catch. Darling?" She held her hand out to Methos, who obligingly drew her to her feet. 

"It's been fun," she said, kissing Tony on the cheek. "Let's do it again. But next time, how about something a little more traditional, like pin the tail on the donkey?" 

"Have a safe trip, Birdie," Tony said, hugging her. "I'll see you next week. Don't forget, you promised me a chocolate strawberry cream pie." 

"Next week, it’s a date," she promised her best friend. 

Charlotte and Methos made their goodbyes, before walking to the elevator hand in hand. As the elevator doors closed, Tasha's voice floated in, "Oh no, that's a question I don't need answered," before silence descended, the only sound, the hum of electronics. 

Methos' eyes glittered with merriment. "You're going to ask."

"No, no, I'm not! No good can come if it," she said, repeating his words from earlier. She would not let him draw her into one of his stories from the old days. 

"Uh huh." His lips twitched.

She clenched her fists, unable to resist the temptation. Damn him! Looking at him sidelong, she said, "Fine! Lady of the Lake?" Inwardly, she sighed in defeat, seeing the 'cat that ate the canary' expression on his face. 

"Well," he drawled, "it was a bog, really, and lady is a bit of a stretch; more like a crone. She read entrails—the smell was terrible." 

Charlotte restrained herself from banging her head into the wall. As the doors opened, she practically fell out of the elevator, Methos' voice continuing on, "There was this one time, in a cave. Great story and we'll have plenty of time on our way to the airport for you to hear all of it," he said gleefully. 

"Where's an alien invasion when you need one?" Charlotte muttered.

End


End file.
